Podcast Insecurities

As I get ready to launch my podcast, I’ve been forced to confront a few things about myself that I’m at least vaguely aware of, but that don’t regularly assert themselves as such blatant obstacles.

  1. I get anxious and embarrassed to put my “big ideas” out there, whether in personal conversations to family or friends or in the more faceless broadcasting format on Facebook or my blog. As someone who tends to prefer blending into the woodwork so to speak, calling attention to myself is uncomfortable. However, to be honest, I guess that’s a hurdle I need to get over quickly as I venture into the podcast world to try and reach people and garner listeners. I want to make a difference and speak to people and I think this will be a good media format for me to delve into. If nothing else, it’ll afford me training-by-fire in verbal communication, a skill I desperately need to address more explicitly. Most days, I go the majority of the day speaking all but a few words to my dog!
  2. I’m terribly shy and hate reaching out to people, particularly if requesting a favor, for fear of “bothering them,” imposing, and getting rejected. Every time I consider a potential podcast guest, I have to calm my nerves and stoke my confidence to hit “send” on my email inquiry, despite the fact that these are all people I know, and some of the kindest souls at that.
  3. I get uncontrollably excited about certain projects or interests and it takes all of my self-control and discipline to rein myself and keep my life in balance, continue to take care of myself and responsibilities, and make sound plans with some system of checks and balances before jumping. I can’t cater to my every dream and whim because I’d be bouncing all over the map! Passion is awesomely powerful; it can help us create lasting impact, “work” long hours yet feel like play, and spark enthusiasm in others. With that said, I can get so single-mindedly focused on passion projects that I put up blinders for everything else in my life, even basic biological needs. I need to remind myself that taking a moment to run to the bathroom or get a drink isn’t going to make or break the success of my podcast project (perhaps if I was buying and trading stocks on a minute-to-minute basis, urgency and immediacy would be more paramount!).

The work I have to do on myself never ceases to stack up! I try to visualize it like being on an indoor rock climbing wall: the hand and footholds are relatively sparse compared to my current limb length, strength, and climbing skill, but with some patience, stubborn willpower, and stretching just a bit further every day, I’ll be scaling higher walls with confidence and competence in time. I’ve got a harness, so it’s okay to take a stab at grabbing something seemingly out of my reach. If I fall, I’ll study the wall again from the ground, train a bit more, and tackle an alternative strategy to get back after it.

 

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