Yesterday was a gift because I felt quite well compared to how I’ve been feeling. Aside from the usual ankle pain, I was pleasantly free from the usually barrage of aches, malaise, nausea, exhaustion, and headache. It was wonderfully freeing and enabled me to be productive and genuinely happy with little effort. I had trouble falling asleep last night because of the time change and the strong pull to cling on to a day where I felt healthy and comfortable. Who wants to sleep when you’ve had such a nice day?
Today, is quite the opposite. I didn’t sleep well at all so I’m very tired. I feel like I just got out of the back of a car with an erratic driver: ridiculously nauseous and unsteady. It’s unlikely that this awful feeling will resolve while I’m awake today, but hopefully, I’ll get restful sleep and feel better on the morning.
When I feel as dreadful as I do right now, I try to list a few positive things to focus on, such as things I’m grateful for or looking forward to. Doing so can often facilitate a positive mindset shift, or at least provide a temporary distraction from this horrible feeling. I’m not necessarily in a bad mood today, but I feel so blatantly unwell that I’m unable to “hear” my thoughts and assess my mental attitude; the sick feeling is so domineering. And so, I’ll keep this writing brief today, simply move on to my “good thoughts” list, and use the banked time to rest a bit before resuming work.
Things I’m thankful for this morning:
- My husband
- My family
- My job
- Being able to talk about anything with Ben and my mom
- My friends who’ve stuck by me and care about me
- The progress I’ve made over the past year in my mental health
- Our house
- Comet’s love
- My strength
- My athletic ability
- A good book
- The ability to laugh and find humor in things
- My privileges
- The generosity and support from my loved ones
- How much my heart can love
- My determination
Looking forward to:
- Warmer weather
- Feeling better
- Washington DC