Decisions, Decisions

We may be going to Washington, D.C. tomorrow, but we haven’t finalized our decision because of finances and health. I’m back in the boot full-time, so walking is not going to be easy. It may sound trivial, but it’s a walking city, and we really don’t have a penny to spend on metro rides or cabs. We’ve had several substantial bills lately and describing our money as “tight” right now would be generous to say the least. It’s a terrible place to be in because the stress of our daily lives has gotten so severe that a little break (in the form of a three-day trip) is especially appealing, though we are no longer really in a place to do so. We will make the final decision tomorrow morning.

I’ve been really anxious the past few days. I think because I don’t like the unknown and we have a lot of loose ends and unknowns occurring concurrently. I’m fortunate to have Ben in my team because we work well together. The number of obstacles that we have overcome is astounding, although I’d rather not be impressed and not have had some of the challenges.

If we go to D.C., we will need to find ways to have fun for free. Thankfully, the entire Smithsonian group of museums are free. It’s been years since I’ve stepped foot in one, but I remember them to be impressive and engaging for hours. The mall area itself is lovely as well, though I won’t be able to stroll as much as I would like to. It will be a test of my ability to not push my body too much and be creative and flexible in my willingness to try different things. That’s actually one of the main reasons that vacations are healthy for me. I’m so prone to get wedded to my daily routine to the extent that I feel unable to deviate even when I don’t technically “have to” do certain aspects of the routine. Vacation is a positive, fun experience that forces me to let go of all of my usual ways and schedule and do something different somewhere different. Because vacation is inherently designed to be enjoyable, “something different” and “somewhere different” usually provides positive reinforcement that change isn’t necessarily bad. This may seem trivial or obvious, but to me, it’s impactful and often required for me to loosen my grip of routine. With that said, with my acutely depressed white blood cell count, too much stress can also be detrimental to my health.

Decisions, decisions. We will see what ends up feeling like the right choice and then we will do our best to be happy with that choice and make it work. Until crystal balls are a real thing, that’s all we can hope to do.

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