Impossibly Sore

I had one of the worst days in terms of how I felt physically yesterday than I can recall in years.  My whole body hurt so much that I was brought to tears several times throughout the day. Every muscle was so tight and sore that it was essentially nonfunctional, and in aggregate, my entire body was so stiff and painful that all I could manage was putting my legs up against a wall to reduce swelling and ice all my joints on a rotating basis. I flirted with the idea of the ER, but decided it would just be a loss of $50 and a couple hours without any productive output. I mean, what could they have possibly done? Nothing. I’m starting to wonder if I have fibromyalgia, though I always thought that was a fake disorder fabricated by people who complain more than usual about musculoskeletal pains. Whether or not I have it (if “it” exists), I completely stand corrected and I feel terribly for ever thinking in my head that people who were diagnosed with it just had a lower pain tolerance. If it’s anything like what I had yesterday (or perhaps worse!), I have no idea how they get through life. Like I said, I cried at least a few times over the day and was basically relegated to the couch for unproductive hours of moaning and griping, grabbing my legs, and trying to massage the systemic knots out of the muscles.

I tried a tumeric supplement yesterday, which is purported to have natural anti-inflammatory properties, but it yielded no relief. I finally caved and took ibuprofen, which I avoid as much as possible because of its detrimental effects on the GI tract and kidneys. That did help somewhat, and eventually, true relief came when I fell asleep and was unconscious and thus unaware of my terribly sore body.

I’m still uncomfortable today and horrifically tight, but it’s more manageable than yesterday. I would characterize yesterday’s musculoskeletal (mainly muscle, tendon, and joint) issues as intolerable or unbearable. Today, in comparison, thankfully, I consider annoyingly uncomfortable and limiting, but not alarming nor concerning, as it was yesterday.

The natural question becomes: what did I do on Friday that causes such severe physical ramifications and pain Saturday? I’m not exactly sure, which is why I’m becoming more convinced I might have this fibromyalgia issue. I did do a few brief unaccustomed activities, but nothing notably taxing nor lasting longer than a mere few minutes. I guess that some acheyness or muscle soreness could be plausible, the paralyzingly extent of it all day yesterday was wildly unfounded. Like I said, I seriously considered a trip to the ER because the agony was downright too much to bear. I imagine if I weren’t the neurotic frugal nut that I am or had no copay, I would have sought help there, if for no other reason than to verify there was nothing to do but wait it out. I really do need to see some sort of specialist who can work with me and my avoidant tendencies and communication challenges to persist and see through the process to an appropriate medical diagnosis and effective treatment. There is something wrong with my body and I’m getting tired of getting half-answers or being told to “wait and see” and “come back in six months” with no proposed action plan during that time aside from continuing to endure the symptoms that I do, mainly in terms of gastrointestinal distress and severe and frequent joint and muscle pain and stiffness.

Today, I’m hoping to be a bit more productive and a whole lot less complain-y. I tried my hardest to be in a good mood yesterday, but there were some moments that truly tested my mental resolve to separate my physical pain from my mood. When the pain is so bad that you’re naturally brought to tears, it’s difficult to feel happy! Fortunately, the weather today is simply gorgeous–drier, sunny, and cooler–and my muscles aren’t quite so scarily knotted up, so I think I can push through and make today be the good day I want it to be.


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