The eating changes were easier to weather yesterday than they were on Friday when I implemented the change. I think that was partly because we were busier so my mind was less focused on food and thus I felt less hungry (or less aware of my hunger), and partly because I ate better so I was less ravenous. It still was far from easy or enjoyable but it gives me hope that I can get through this significant change. I have found some foods that have definitely not worked (a fun night if nausea and vomiting) and others that seem potentially workable. Unfortunately, I haven’t found much that I like the taste of that’s actually safe for me to consume! I pray that I do find something I like to eat because eating, at least in part, should be enjoyable. I liked my old foods, so this interim of experimentation and “gross options” feels like yet another check mark in the depression column because it’s a removal of a pleasure stimulus in a relative dearth of such things in my life. I’m not hopeless though, I like food and eating so I’m sure I’ll find some options in time.
The best part so far, and really the goal of all of this, is that although it’s only been two days without that suspected offending food, my joints have been orders of magnitude less painful. I don’t want to jinx anything of course, but I don’t believe that will be the case because “jinx” implies significant chance or that the outcome could go any way with equal probability without cause other than the mysticism of the jinx. In the case of the joint pain, I don’t think the lack of pain correlating with eliminating this food is a coincidence. Instead, I think this association is causal in nature. Because the food truly inflamed my body and joints, the sudden removal actually has cut down on the inflammatory reaction taking place in my body. Thus, there’s a clear reason why the pain is abating. Even though I’m not happy about changing my diet and haven’t fully settled on a workable solution yet, it’s a solid platinum lining (forget that silver!) if I start to feel better! I still have a long way to go in being comfortable, or dare I dream to be “pain free,” this seems like a definitive step in the right direction. Time will tell.
I’m excited for today. It’s gorgeous out, much drier than it’s been in what feels like weeks, and the radiant sun is gracing the sky. I’m loving this book I’m reading called Somewhere Beyond Sea. After a dreadfully slow and boring start, I’ve fallen in love with the story and characters. I’m glad I stuck with it through those soporific initial chapters. Ben is around and we get to enjoy time together, which is always ripe with laughs. I’ll finish mowing the lawn, doing some work, and cleaning up the house. A small piece of me is also excited to be donning my scientist cap these past few days to investigate my own body and experiment with what foods may or may not work. I’ve made big strides in my anxiety and mood stability through my self-directed therapy, so it’s conceivable that I carry a similar level of efficacy in improving my medical issues and physical health.